


you know I can't do that

by orphan_account



Series: Forever and Always [2]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Crying, F/M, Unrequited Love, more angst angst angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 12:25:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13007739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Signe's almost given up. Almost.





	you know I can't do that

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really have any kind of set timeline in my head, so just... think of this part as happening a decent chunk of time after the first part. Maybe a year, or whatever you want it to be.

“Signe, can I talk to you?” 

She looks up from her laptop, and fights the urge to throw something at the thing leaning on the doorway of their bedroom. “Of course, is something wrong?” It’s times like this she’s glad she’s perfected feigning things like compassion and sympathy. 

Anti doesn’t say anything, just glitches over to the bed, and sits down on the edge, maintaining his distance from her while also blocking her way for an easy escape. She tended to flee away whenever she could, but in the end, she always had to return. 

“Are you… happy?” Anti finally asks, meeting her gaze. His dichromatic eyes seem dull, and he fiddles with the hem of his shirt. It's almost as if he's nervous, but she won't let herself be fooled. 

Figuring this won’t be a quick conversation like she hopes it to be, Signe shuts her laptop, and gives the thing in front of her her full attention. “What makes you ask that? You never have before.” She doesn’t bother keeping the venom out of her tone; she doesn’t see a reason for it anymore. 

Anti stands up, and begins pacing in front of the bed. “I’m not an idiot, Signe. I know how you function, and I know how you are when you’re upset, but you’ve been like this every day! I worry about you.” 

“Oh, do you now?” Signe jumped up from the bed. Rage fills her heart, and it takes all she has not to lunge herself at him. She settles for clenching her fists; she feels her nails cut into her palms, but the pain is welcome comfort. “Now, you decide to fucking care for me?” 

“What do you want from me?” Anti raises his voice, not enough to shout, but enough to fuel her anger. 

“I want Sean back!” Signe yells. She collapses against the wall, and slides to the floor, burying her face in her arms to hide the tears threatening to spill over her eyes. 

Anti crosses the room in an instant, and wraps his arms around her. The scent of his cologne, the scent of  _ Sean _ , hits her, and just for an instant, a bare instant, she can fool herself into thinking that it is indeed the man she loves. The thought comforts her, it stabilizes her, but then the crushing truth sinks in: her Sean, her beloved, was gone forever, trapped inside his own body. 

She began sobbing violently into Anti’s chest, forgetting that she hated him, and taking what solace she could in the contact with another person. 

“You know I can’t do that,” Anti murmurs, rubbing little circles into her back, just like her beloved used to. “But I still love you.”

Signe would rather have her own ears ripped off than hear Anti say those words to her with the same voice as the one who had truly meant them. She couldn’t even be bothered to lie to him, and tell him she loved him back. She was exhausted of the lies, but she knew they would never end. 

“Do you hate me?” Anti stops rubbing her back, sounding as if he were on the brink of a meltdown. Except his meltdowns meant leaving the house for days, returning covered in blood that wasn’t his own. 

She wants to say yes, she truly did. Her heart burns because of him; he’s the only thing that’s ever managed to conjure this much rage from her. Yet every time she tries to tell him that, her words get stuck in her throat, and an image of Sean pops into her head. Her only true love, who’s still stuck in that body, somewhere, locked away forever. Her sobs reduce themselves to silent tears, but she doesn’t look up from his chest. 

“No,” She croaks. 

Anti doesn’t display any physical reaction to her answer, but merely asks another question. “Do you love me?” 

Signe ponders her answer, then finds the right words to try and save her own sanity. “Forever and always.”  She can’t love him, she could never bring herself to feel anything close to romantic for him, but he can’t know that. If he does, she would never have a chance to see Sean again. 

“Forever and always,” Anti repeats, gently picking her up and placing her on the bed. He moves her laptop out of the way, and lays her down. He makes sure to cover her with the blankets, and then walks towards the door. “Goodnight, love.” He switches off the lights, leaving Signe alone with her tears. 

His sudden shift in mood doesn’t even bother her anymore; she’s gotten used to them. She turns over in the bed, holding her cheek with her palm and lying on her side. She can’t help but to wonder how her life got to this point; one day, she was living with the man she loved, and she was looking forward to every new day. Then, the next day, she was forced to stay with this  _ creature  _ that took the man she loved, with the only thing keeping her going was the hope that maybe, just  _ maybe,  _ she might see Sean again. 

She dismisses those thoughts, unwilling to go down the same road of thoughts she’s followed since day one. She clears her mind, and drifts into a dreamless sleep, ignoring the tears that are still falling. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, please leave a comment or kudos! Also, if you have any suggestions for any more parts, feel free to leave a comment or contact me on tumblr @stertleturtle


End file.
